LUST IS GOOD: A View from the author of novel "Monogamy Sucks"

To revise a line from movie character Gordon Gekko from the great film “Wall Street“: LUST IS GOOD.

A lust for life, for sex, for pleasure, for passion, for achievement are beautiful qualities to possess.

Even a lust for money or power is fine as long as it doesn’t become an obsession or lead to abuses.

Sure, lust haunts us at times, and even leads us to do things that we might later reconsider, but should we always regret them?  Isn’t lust also a delicious part of life, too?

Just think of the hot lust that fuels a naughty sexual encounter. If no one is hurt by the ensuing erotic fun — meaning no cheating or lying is involved — how can that be a bad thing?

Isn’t that lack of spark or lusty excitement what bedevils long-term relationships and marriages? Things become routine or even boring and it becomes harder — no pun intended — to maintain or recreate that lusty thrill that once happened so easily.

This need for variety or to recapture our lusty erotic fires is what drive a growing number of people to stray from their relationships and from praying at the altar of monogamy — a forced societal institution if there ever was one — and to cheat on their spouses with another. Some couples decide to open up their relationships instead and explore the swinging lifestyle and invite others into their sexual lives.

Others claim that lust is an empty, purposeless feeling. I don’t believe that is true. Lust is at the root of all of our romantic relationships. We lust for companionship, we lust to be loved and to love, and we lust to find those we can share the important moments of our lives with. Along with all that, we of course, lust to consummate our relationships with lustful driven sex.

Lust for love is still lust is it not?

In my novel Monogamy Sucks, I write about my character Jake Dalmas’ frustration with fidelity, conventional relationships, but also his consuming lust for more sexual variety and excitement in his life.

Actually, it was my similar desire for new erotic adventures drove me to explore & research the swinging lifestyle, and to later write about it.

Erotica is one of the more popularity literary genres on Amazon Kindle and in the book industry overall. People love to read about sex, talk about sex and dream about sex. That is all fueled by a heathy dose of lust.

We all know lust drives the billion dollar a year porn business. Men also turn to call girls out of need for sex with no strings and complications. This same lustful need drove me to expand my sexual horizons. Swingers I’ve met also had a similar motivation to face up to their lusty needs and not pretend they don’t exist. Living a lie is empty — not lust.

Lust is everywhere and inspires a lot of our life decisions whether we want to admit it or not.

The following excerpt of chapter two of my novel is an interesting depiction of the nature of lust from the male perspective. Jake Dalmas is overcome by his horny desires, which leads him to contact almost every call girl listed in an L.A. sex rag with dubious results, and later to place his own ad seeking sex. This is the start of my character’s bizarre, humorous, but ultimately rewarding journey. I hope I have been able to describe effectively, and in a hilarious manner, just how bad lust can get for a man sometimes.

That being said, I’ll go back to how I started this post: Lust is good. It makes us feel alive.

GP

****

CHAPTER 2

THE JOURNEY BEGINS: LUST IN THE WANT ADS

October 2

I am so horny tonight. It feels like cum is pushing against the back of my eyeballs and threatening to drip out of my ears.

    I haven’t been laid in more than a year since I dumped my former girlfriend Lani. At the time, it seemed like a good idea as she was driving me crazy with her whiny and clingy ways. I don’t know how I stayed with her for six months. That is a long time for me, and honestly she really wasn’t all that much to look at. She was a short and fat, dumpy looking woman in her late twenties with a large nose marred by an ugly wart. If that wasn’t bad enough, she has two bratty kids that did their best to annoy me.

    Still, it wasn’t all bad. Lani loved to fuck three or four times a night, especially after snorting cocaine and I have to admit, the sex was incredible. When she was high on coke, she became oblivious to everything but her cravings and desires. I was just a hard cock along for the ride. I realized after a while that she used sex to mask deep emotional problems rooted in a neglected childhood and later abusive relationships with former boyfriends.

    The more I pushed her away, the greater her sexual desire. Her sexual appetite bordered on addiction. Yet our strong physical connection wasn’t enough for her after a while. After five months of dating, she wanted to get married. I told her I wasn’t looking for a serious relationship and she flipped out. She clung to our relationship with a needy desperation, and there’s nothing sexy about neediness. I don’t care what anyone says. I felt suffocated and I finally broke it off with her. Frankly, I miss the sex, but I don’t miss her.

    Following our breakup, I hit the bars near my apartment in Long Beach’s Belmont Shore looking for sex. All I found was a hangover and a strong dose of sexual frustration. It has been the same most of my adult life. I have always been far too timid in the pursuit of women. I freeze up, and I still haven’t been able to completely shake off my shyness. In a bar setting, I am the guy a woman notices from across the room, but who almost never makes a move. I flirt with my eyes, but fail with weak small talk. This is my weakness. I have no gift of gab, and I need to get laid badly.

    This urge is starting to become an obsession with me. Almost every morning I wake up with a throbbing hard on and I have to jack off to get some kind of relief. It is getting worse. I haven’t been with a woman in so long I am starting to forget what it feels like. The porno movies don’t help. They give me a hungry sex fever that even masturbation can’t seem to quell. I tried to stop watching them, but I can’t resist. I guess jacking off to porn is better than no sex life at all. Pathetic. That’s how I feel.

    There has to be another way to meet women who just want to fuck. I usually meet women through work or through friends, but they all seem to want to entangle me in another frustrating relationship. I am so tired of all that bullshit. All I want is the sex of my dreams without the headache and stress. All I crave is no-strings fucking. Is that too much to ask for?

    Nothing excites me more than giving pleasure to a woman, and just exploring her desires and fantasies. However, I don’t want the same woman forever. That road for me unfortunately leads to boredom and unhappiness. There has to be another more exciting sex life out there for me.

    So earlier this afternoon, I bought an L.A. Express newspaper. It is one of those sex rags that are sold in old, rusty newspaper racks usually located in front of post offices or liquor stores. Typically, the cover of the news rack is so dirty that you can barely see what is in there except for a faded image of a scantily clad woman on the cover. I wanted to check out the nasty personal ads that were advertised on the front page of the rags. There are classifieds for everything from cars and apartments to computers and romance. Then there are the classifieds for sex, swinging in particular. I call them fuck ads. Sometimes fuck ads can be found in mainstream newspapers with the advertiser’s real intentions disguised in clever language. You just need to know how to read between the lines.

    Mostly though, sex ads are featured in swinger rags, alternative newspapers such as the Express or even the LA Weekly and now the Internet. The Express is crammed full of erotic ads soliciting 900 numbers and datelines. The headlines clamored for my sexual satisfaction with salacious invitations such as…

NAUGHTY NURSE WILL TAKE CARE OF YOUR ILLS…ASIAN BEAUTY SEEKS TO TAKE YOU ON AN EASTERN ADVENTURE…TAKE A SIP OF HENNESEY AND FEEL HOW I GO DOWN…FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELT, DANGEROUS CURVES AHEAD…TAWNY, NEW IN TOWN AND SHAVED…PLAYTIME IS OVER BOYS…LOOKING FOR SOME REAL MEN, CALL SUMMER…HOT LATINA IS YOUNG, NAÏVE AND EAGER TO PLEASE…DO YOU LIKE THE TASTE OF HOT CHOCOLATE? CALL TANISHA…

I realized finding these naughty women was one thing, but seducing them was something else. I needed to come up with a way to express my desires up front without offending the women I wanted to meet for sex.

After several glasses of wine, my sexual frustration got the best of me and I called almost every number in the magazine. Unfortunately, all I found were call girls.

    “In or out?” They would ask me.

    I thought it was obvious, but what they meant is should I go to their place or should they come to mine. It was strictly a money deal. The magazine was a front for prostitution. What a fucking let down. It was all fucking fake. I don’t want to have to pay for it as that takes all the fun out it for me. I want the person I fuck to WANT to be there. I don’t want our sex together to be her fucking job, as most of us hate our jobs. Why should it be any different with call girls?

    Even after all that, I still held out hope that the Express could be an effective sleazy vehicle to use for my initial foray into the tenuous world of casual sex. However, I decided I would have the horny women come to me. Later on that night, after I had sobered up a bit, I sent my own ad to the Express. A couple of days later, I got myself a second phone line so no one, not my family, friends or co-workers, would know what I was up to. I could only imagine the embarrassment if someone I knew saw my ad and recognized my phone number. My friends and co-workers would tease me endlessly. My family wouldn’t understand and would worry that something bad would happen to me. Discretion seems the better part of valor in this case. I also didn’t want anyone to know how truly desperate I am. I can’t hold out much longer. I need to be inside of a woman again soon.

    My ad went like this:

SEEKING HORNY WOMEN

Tall SWM 32 is seeking hot and wet horny women for erotic adventure. Age and race unimportant. Love to give pleasure to a woman. Love 69 and mutual satisfaction. Call Jake. 555-487-2023

My ad is hardly subtle and, O.k. I lied about my age, but at least I am upfront about what I am looking for. Pussy with no hassle. Sex with no bullshit. But would it fly with the ladies?

October 11

My ad has been in the Express for a week now and there has been absolutely no response. It’s depressing. I am starting to have mixed feelings about the whole thing.     Still, a part of me is also somewhat relieved. I really don’t know what I am going to do when someone calls. I am at war with my hormones. My need for pussy without strings is in conflict with my fear of rejection and my basically timid nature. I become extremely nervous when calling a woman I have met for a date. Yet this is different. This is a woman who I will be calling for sex. I will have to seduce her on the phone, and I am not sure if I really know what to say. I have overwhelming doubts that I can go through with this.

October 17

I ran my ad for a second week and finally got a response, Judy from Woodland Hills. She left her number on my answering machine and said she screened her calls because her ex-husband was harassing her. She sounded uptight and nervous. Her message didn’t exactly light a fire in me. I am hesitant to call her. I have thoughts of me fucking Judy and her husband stalking us and watching us have sex. Maybe he is even one of those psycho stalkers who will try to kill us out of jealousy. I read about them all the time in the news. Seems like a dicey situation. So with some reluctance (and pangs of horny doubt) I decided not to call her back. I need sex not drama. I am hardly off to a swinging start.

October 18

Things didn’t improve much the next day. I received what amounted to the first bad review of my ad. It came from a woman who left a snotty and hostile message on my answering machine saying my ad would only attract “fat and ugly women.” Was she an advertiser of the magazine? Or maybe a slighted call girl feeling cheated out of a potential customer?

    I have to admit her response has troubled me. Could she be right? Would I only find fat and ugly women? Was I wasting my time?

                                                                ###